The father gave his only son, the way, the truth, the life had come.

Hey there random strangers, and friends. 

I am going to jump the gun here a little bit and say Merry Christmas a few days early, because I don't know how much time I am going to get over the next week to do so. 

Christmas for me when I was little was always skewed. I never understood entirely what the meaning of it was. I didn't really know why we celebrated it. It always seemed pretty hollow to me. I mean sure, it was fun - we got off of school, we got lots of presents and there were pretty lights everywhere. That part was great. But why did we do all of it? I never understood this growing up. 

Last Christmas was my first as a Christian. My first understand the reason that we celebrated Christmas was the celebrate the birth of Christ. I understood this to an extent, but as a very young, very uneducated Christian, I still didn't REALLY understand it. 

This Christmas I understand more, but I still don't think I get it, and I don't know if I ever will. I mean, how can I get it? First, I didn't exist in that day, and if I had, which group would I have fallen into? The ones who dropped everything and followed him? Or the ones that clamoured for his crucifixion. It is with complete shame and humility that I recognize I would have probably been in the latter group. Second, while I gain mightily by Jesus' birth and eventual death, I don't understand. I don't understand what he went through. I don't understand the price he paid to come down to earth and take on the likeness of a man. I don't understand the price he paid to walk this earth for 33 years and exist in the complete brokenness of us. I don't understand the price he paid on the cross. And even in my complete misunderstanding of that, it is the single most powerful, the pivotal point of my life. 

So, this holiday. It is about Jesus, right? Most 'cookie cutter christians' would agree. It is a day to celebrate Jesus and his radical ministry on earth. So how do we do that? We spend time with family. We spend ridiculous amounts of money on presents and food. We eat chocolate. We have advent calendars. We decorate a tree and put a star on top. Maybe an angel. We say grace and give thanks to Jesus. We sing carols. 

I think this is almost as hollow to me as the Christmas' I spent my entire life. We are using this holiday to celebrate our gracious saviour. So why are we doing it in ways that bring glory only to us? Get the right present, spend the most money, make the best desert, have the best ugly christmas sweater. I am guilty of all of these just as much, if not more than my human counterparts. 

But when I take all of this and compare it to Jesus' ministry, I have to admit to myself that this is not how Jesus would celebrate Christmas in my opinion. Instead of going to his favourite peoples house (or not, depending on your in-laws), and giving presents, and eating way too much, and singing, he would instead be out healing the sick, and loving the marginalized. He would be out braving the weather, and travels to extend the power of his love and grace to those that feel that they don't deserve it. In a modern context, Jesus would not be in his families warm, happy home. He would be in down-town Detroit walking amongst the prostitutes, drug addicts, homeless and marginalized of our time. In other words, the lame and leper of modern times. Not only would he be there, but he would be loving them in all of their brokenness. Not the kind of love where we give food and warm clothes out of obligation, but instead the kind of love where He gives the very clothes off of his back and acts and feels as though he was the one given the gift and joy. 

So what is Christmas spirit, friends? How do we celebrate the birth of our saviour? How do we go about glorifying God, and not just our own desires? and the most terrifying thing of all: What would Jesus say or do to us today if he saw the way he celebrated him? Would be tell us that we are doing a good job, or would he call out all the selfish, stubborn pride and sin in us? 

United States of America
Looks like another silent night
As we're sung to sleep by philosophies
That save the trees and kill the children
And while we're lying in the dark
There's a shout heard 'cross the eastern sky
For the Bridegroom has returned
And has carried His bride away in the night

America, what will we miss while we are sleeping
Will Jesus come again
And leave us slumbering where we lay
America, will we go down in history
As a nation with no room for its King
Will we be sleeping
Will we be sleeping

United States of America
Looks like another silent night

December 14th, 2012. Will this be the day that you see and become change?

Hey wonderful internet world. 

I am not going to lie to you, todays blog post is going to be very Christ centred and very well might make you angry if you don't share my views. I will also say that even if you don't share my faith, I would highly recommend that you read it anyways, and leave me a comment with your own thoughts. 

Today. December 14th 2012. Today, everything changed in many lives. Everything. Today hearts broke, and families were ripped apart. Children were killed. Innocent blood was brutally shed. Today was a day that breaks my heart. Today is a day that God is grieving for the state of humanity. 

After waking up and hearing the news today, I updated my status on facebook. This is what I said: 

The question is not 'where is God in this?', The question we should be asking ourselves is 'why are we not following God?' He has already come, he has already won. That is what we are currently celebrating. Jesus' birth, because his birth eventually lead him to the cross. for us. for me. for you. The real question is why are we choosing to follow senseless destruction instead of Jesus, the one who

 conquered evil over 2000 years ago. We need to stand up, and stop giving into the sin and brokenness around us and realise that Jesus is the answer. So I call you to really think about what you are celebrating this christmas. I call you to sit down and read a bible and actually take a minute to think about the implications. I challenge you to be the person that God created you to be.

This status update got some flack from a friend of mine from highschool. She doesn't believe in God, and she got highly offended in the way that it was phrased. Her response to me was this:

So all those children died today because there just wasn't enough Jesus in their hearts? Or maybe it was their parents who didn't have enough faith. Oh well, they best not give into despair from the loss of their babies because that's a sin. Wouldn't want to push God any further away than he already is!

Everyone has a right to their own personal beliefs, but when people shove them in the faces of others and attempt to justify what is sick and twisted in this world by blaming innocent people who simply haven't subscribed to YOUR belief, well that's just lazy. The problems of humanity are that of humanity alone and personal belief should be just that, personal.

Today's blog post is going to respond to what was said in this comment. I think that the way that my friend reacted is a very standard reaction of someone who does not know the gospel and the message that Jesus came to give. I think that societies standard reaction to anything we don't agree with is selifishness and narcissism.  To be fair, I don't think that the person who wrote it is a bad person, on the contrary, I believe her to be a very nice, well educated, polite person. In fact, upon reading her response I got angry and immediately wanted to defend myself and my status. In short, my immediate reaction was to be selfish and narcissistic. 

That, is part of the problem that I outlined in my original status. The status I posted was NOT saying that the children that died or were injured in todays tragedies deserved to die, or deserved to be punished. I said that the sin and brokenness in this world created this problem. The shooter in the states and the man with the knife in China are byproduct of a society were narcissism rules our daily lives. Sin rules us more effectively than anything else. 

The perpetrators of todays crimes were groomed and made to be the way they are today by society. By sin. By brokenness. Because what happened in those schools today was certainly NOT of God's doing. Jesus was born, raised, and then carried the cross to the place where he finally died for our sins. For the sins of you, me, the men in todays crimes, the victims in todays crimes, and for every single other human being who takes a breath on this earth. He gave us a way to turn away from this crap. This senseless violence. He took all of that upon himself so that we could know what love, grace, mercy, peace, happiness, comfort and redemption is. None of those things were shown today. None of those things are shown in my life, in yours, or in anyone elses life on a daily basis. 

So in that status, and right this moment I challenge you to pick up your cross and join me. I challenge you to learn who and what God is and not to let the warped views of society tell you who God is. I challenge you to show grace instead of vengeance today, tomorrow and the next day. I challenge you to join me in the revolution that Christ calls us to. I challenge you to be the body of Christ. To stop this ridiculous violence and instead turn to one another in love.  I challenge you to take what happened to those children today and see that that is NOT what God had for them, for me, or for you. I challenge you. YOU. So what will you do?

I am forgiven, because He was forsaken.

Good Morning internet world, 

Its been a few days since I last updated. Mostly because every time I sat down to do it, I just had no idea what to say. 

What do you say after a close friend has suddenly passed away and it has shattered your heart into a million pieces? How do you explain that every time you get into a car, you breakdown? How do you explain that in the last week, you have become as temperamental as a angry blast ended skrewt. I had no words, no wisdom, not a thing to share with you. 

So today, I sit down writing in orange, in memory of the best person I knew. In memory of a man that was taken long before he should have been. In memory of T-mo. 

Regardless, today I am going to talk about fear, vulnerability and weakness. I used to think that all three were the same thing, and all three should be carefully hidden away so that no one saw your weak spots. Over the last 7 months, and especially over the last week, I have learned that I was completely wrong. In the last week, I think I have cried more than ever before, and I cried EVERYWHERE. I mean, I cried in my room, in the dining hall, in cars, in my office, while I was walking places, in group settings, in the lounge that everyone hangs out in. I couldn't help it. I thought I was losing it. But in light of all of that, I realized that the people around me didn't look at me with disgust when they saw me crying, they didn't take advantage of my pain. Instead they came along side me and helped in whatever way they could. 

This was completely new to me. and completely unexpected. 

This last week has literally been the hardest week I have ever experienced. Three really big, really stressful things have happened and come to a head in that time span. I have learned so much about my limits of pain, sorrow and sadness. I have cycled through a few stages of the cycle of grief, and I know that I am nowhere near done working my way through them all. T-mo's memorial is tonight and his service is tomorrow and I am 4500km away, that is definitely hard, but I am going to do something here, because I know I need it for me. He is probably watching me from somewhere, freed from pain, and laughing at me for doing this, because I know he certainly wouldnt want any big deal made out of him, or his death. 

The biggest thing that I have come to terms with is that God loves me through all of this. I knew that before, but I didn't understand it. It took me going into the depths of sorrow for me to understand that the greatest reason to keep fighting, to keep working through all of this, is because his love sustains me. It has been incredible to be in my weakest moments and realize that he is just standing there waiting for me to look up and take his hand so that he can lead me out of it. 

I'm trying, and I know that I will continue to try for the next long while, but I am certainly not going to quit. 

Stay safe friends, wear your seatbelts and drive safe. I love you all.

- A




(points to those that get the Harry Potter reference)

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

.. I will fear no evil.

Today is both a really great day, and a really sad day. Today I reconciled with a friend of mine that I have already told you about. The one from the summer. We sat down last night and we apologized, and forgave each other and we decided to move on from all of what happened. Not forget it. But let go of the negative. 

That is amazing. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. I feel like I got one of my close friends back. So, that is a good thing. 

Today I also found out that a friend of mine from college passed away in a car accident this morning. That is heartbreaking. This is a guy that had a smile for everyone, a high-five for anyone willing and a hug ready every time he saw me. He was a guy that wore a bright orange coat all winter, rode around on a long board, and loved his girlfriend more than anything. 

This is also a guy that told me once that he believed, but that he wasn't ready to make a commitment to Jesus. He said he just wasn't there. 

These things make this whole situation good and bad. He believed, but I don't know to what extent. My prayers are that he is currently up in heaven high fiving every person that he comes across and making a difference up there like he did in my life. But in a place that is free of sin, guilt, shame, insecurity and brokenness. That is what this phenomenal man should be doing. 

My prayers are also going out to his family and loved ones, they are most certainly hurting right now. So if you would be so kind as to join me in prayer for them, that would be amazing. 

I will leave this post nice and short, because right now, I have nothing left to say. Rest in peace my good friend, rest in peace. 

When the perishable puts on the imprerishable and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall comes to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory." "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.